recently...

For some reason, it makes me laugh when my husband discovers new things that have actually been here since we moved into our flat, now over a year ago.  For example, just the other day, he was walking to the kitchen when he stopped and yelled, "has this crack always been here?" in alarm.  I went over to see what he was talking about, and he was pointing to a long, thin crack in the wallpaper which has been in place since day one.

Then a few days later, he was standing in the kitchen eating a granola bar over the sink (which I do not really make him do, it's just that they're really messy and I had just hoovered) when he said, "wow, if you want to see a bunch of old ladies in their bras, come quick," because from our kitchen window we can look into the exercise studio of an elderly care centre.  Where every single day (since yes, the day we moved in), I have noticed old women stretching and dancing.  How is this new to him?

Finally, there's a street market every Wednesday morning in our town.  To be fair, Sam is almost always in class during it, and it's in an area he doesn't walk by that often, but he was still way too shocked when he discovered it (on a walk with me, after getting out early from class).  "This is here every week," I told him.  "Remember?  I'm always mentioning it to you...."  .... but no, it was quite the surprise for him.  (But we bought a pain au chocolat and three cheese straws, so it was an awesome surprise.) 

scenes from a marriage: on games

So, for whatever reason, I'm generally not really a fan of games.  I know that makes me sound like the least fun person in the world, which maybe I am, but I just don't find games that enjoyable.  My husband loves them.  Luckily for me, we don't really own any (I bought him Trivial Pursuit in a charity shop, because it's his favorite, and also I don't mind it that much.  It's particularly fun to play an old version - this is the original, so we like to preface our answers with, "well, back in the '80s, this was true..." because some things have changed) so it doesn't come up that often.

But the other day, at our friend's house, Sam suggested we play Phase 10.  "I hate that game," I complained.  "It is basically the very worst game, I can't think of something I'd rather do less,"

"Don't be silly, Phase 10 is fun.  Have you ever even played it before?"

"When I was little, I think I owned it.  But I hate games that involve skill.  You always make fun of me."

"There's no skill involved.  It's easy." 

And somehow, I don't know how, he convinced me.  I guess I was getting pretty desperate when I said we shouldn't play games with cards ("that means face cards," was his rebuttal) and anyway, he really wanted to.  Anyway, it turns out that Phase 10 is pretty fun.  (Ahem.)  Particularly when you win.  (I won!)  Sam helped me cheat, however.  This was after we got off to a bad start, when he spent the first round skipping me.

"Why did you do that?"  I'd ask every time.  Our friends laughed.  "Oh, we've found that husbands and wives shouldn't sit next to each other in games like this!" they told us.  But then, since I was winning anyway, Sam began giving me help.  "What card do you need?" he'd ask, and show me what he had.  Playing games is much more fun when you're not really competitive. 

"You only won because I let you," he reminded me later that evening.  "And I only let you so that you'd play more games with me.

imagination

picture by Emily McDowell via Design Mom

I've pretty much spent my life imagining things.  It was always my favorite past-time.  Even now that I'm grown up, and I'm not supposed to, I still tell myself stories, basically all the time.  Maybe that's one reason why I enjoy running; there's plenty of time to tell yourself a long, complicated stories.  Sometimes my stories are about fictional people, sometimes myself.  Sometimes the past, sometimes the future.

So maybe that's one reason why I have a hard time trying to enjoy the moment.  Does anyone really do this?  I've always picked some event in my future to aspire to -- being in college, being out of college, married, working, children, retired-- yup, lots of things.  I don't know if this is detrimental or not.  I should really try to live in the present more often, though.  To enjoy what and where I am. 

But not all stories are bad.  I enjoy thinking about other people or other situations and trying to decide how I'd act or how someone else would act (and why).  One of my professors told me it was a myth that English students (and by extension, readers) are made more empathetic by reading, but I'm not sure I believe him.  How else can you ever really understand someone else, except by doing your best to think about their point of view...the essence of reading? 

I don't think I'll ever completely stop telling stories, and I don't think I want to.  Imagination and belief are important.