mother's day

Oh, what?  It's almost Father's Day?  Oops.  But mother's day was really fun, so let's just pretend it wasn't like a month ago.  And by 'really fun' I mean, it was just a normal day, pretty much.  Sam played with Oliver when he woke up at 7 so I got to sleep in, and then after church my sister took some family pictures of us.  Basically our first!  Sam and I tried to take one in the hospital after Oliver was born.  Just one, that's all I wanted, but that was definitely too much to ask.  Picture taking is always a stressful thing in our very non-photogenic family, but my sister did a great job, and we ended up with some pictures that I love.  I even got some printed out, so I'm counting it as a mother's day win.

May was hot and humid for us, so we took these pictures in my parent's backyard in the evening, and we hit a sweet spot while spring things were in bloom and it didn't look too much like a jungle outside (as it sort of does now).  Oliver was drooling on his overalls, I didn't really know what to wear, and I got annoyed with Sam at one point, but still, at least we have a family picture I like now.

Having a baby is definitely one of the best things I've ever done.  Oliver might be a sort of terrible sleeper sometimes, but other than that he the best baby in the world.  He is so cheerful and cute and eager to explore everything.  I love the way he grabs our hands and sets off in various directions, like nothing could be more thrilling than finally discovering what is hidden under the piano or behind that one armchair.  He isn't the cuddliest baby, so I love those rare moments when he puts his head down on my shoulder (sometimes just to give it an experimental suck, but I'll take it) or grabs my face in his hands and tries to eat my chin. I can't wait for all the years to come, and to see him turn even more into a little boy (but that's all, no getting TOO old, Oliver).

this week

So I'm in the final countdown stage of this pregnancy, because we have a sort-of induction date coming up soon.  Last week it felt like I saw all sorts of doctors, Sam submitted a load of job applications (and has two interviews lined up), and did his best to readjust to being in the US at the beginning of the week.  On Wednesday Sam went to try on his tuxedo for the wedding, and it was a good thing he did, because his trousers were about two inches too short.  We'd submitted the measurements ourselves because we were in England, and clearly I am unable to measure things properly.  Luckily they were able to fix it the next day, so everything was fine in the end.  We had dinner with his family on Thursday night, after several doctor appointments at the hospital where everything looked fine, so we all got caught up and learned about his brother's plans for the next few years.

Friday my new phone arrived and I played with that until we headed out to the wedding rehearsal, which was interesting.  The woman in charge was a bit intense, and apparently their rules are pretty set -- only the best man was allowed to stand next to the groom, so the other groomsmen are supposed to just sit in the front row, even though the bride wanted them all standing.  Afterwards, we put up a few decorations in the chapel (because no one was using it in between the rehearsal and the actual wedding the next morning) and then went to the rehearsal dinner, where Sam and I got to sit with another friend of his from high school and the friend's wife, along with the sister of the bride and her boyfriend.  The boyfriend had his cute four-year-old son with him, and kept warning us of all the fun of parenthood that lies before us (i.e., never sleeping).

Saturday was the actual wedding day and it was lovely.  Sam got up pretty early to go eat breakfast with other wedding party people, and then they got ready together, since the photographer was going to get some shots of that.  I got to sleep in a little more because the best man's fiancee offered to give me a ride to the wedding when it actually started, as opposed to like four hours early, which was really nice of her.  The wedding was gorgeous and we really enjoyed the reception.  Afterwards, we went to another friend's house to play games and eat pizza.  One of Sam's friends brought his three-month-old baby along, so we got to play with him and pick up some tips.

getting ready

Since I was clearly feeling a bit negative about the whole pregnancy thing after spending all day in hospital last Friday, I've since been doing some preparations that are definitely reminding me that I'm overall pretty happy and excited about this pregnancy.  First up: the hospital bag.  Sam's response to my suggestion that we make a list of things we'll bring to the hospital was that he'd be able to think of them all at the time.  But since any appointment could end with me having a baby (hopefully not for at least another month though), I thought it sounded nice to be prepared.  Plus, putting baby stuff together is exciting when it's your first.  (I can't speak to any other time, obviously.)  

Other people have put together hospital bag packing lists which I read obsessively before putting together my own. Sam even did his best to participate, so we got to have fun conversations like what size baby things do you bring to the hospital (newborn? 0-1 month? 0-3? Tiny baby?) or do we need to pack snacks for Sam? At first we both thought it was funny to be packing snacks, but then we decided it made sense, so onto the list it went. (But what snacks?) (And seriously, what size clothes?)  Now there are two different bags ready to go (one for me, in case I go into hospital for a bit before having the baby and one that is full of baby things) and things got a little more real.  I feel like I've said that a lot, but it's an odd process, realizing that pregnancy will (hopefully) result in even more huge changes for us.  This week has been much better, and I even got a growth scan on Tuesday that showed our baby is getting big.  We got to see his chubby cheeks and find out he's already weighing over 4 pounds.  Hopefully my new medication won't cause any more complications or bad side effects, but at least for this week, everything is OK and we're feeling a bit more prepared.     

weekend

via

While all our family in the US deals with piles of snow, and freezing days at home, we're dealing with wind so strong it knocks you over when you leave the house, and icy rain that seems to never stop.  Today, for once, the sun is out and the sky is blue, but we've given up expecting that to last.  We're lucky, and not dealing with any flooding or dangerous things, but still.  There's something depressing about a cold, wet winter that doesn't involve any snow.  We had plans for some time together yesterday, maybe browsing some stores and going to a restaurant after Sam finished his classes, but after getting soaked in the morning, it didn't seem like fun anymore to leave the house.  We stayed inside instead, wearing lots of layers and eating Indian food.  Sort of perfect, really. 

We ordered presents that haven't arrived yet, so now there's something to look forward to next week.  (Books, of course.)  Sam is done with classes at the moment, and just needs to work on his presentation, that he'll give a week from Monday.  In two weeks he starts his final placement, which I keep repeating because I can't quite believe it.  I feel like he was just starting this course, just a few weeks ago heading out for his very first placement, but here we are at the end.  (Almost.)  These quiet weekends with all our time just for us won't last, so it's really wonderful, enjoying them while we can. 

travel and home

I've written before about feeling like I have many different homes.  The place I was born, the place I grew up, the places I went to university, the places I've lived with my husband.  Even though we'll be here for almost another year (but probably be gone before 2015), I'm already starting to feel sad about moving away.  This place isn't perfect.  Today the wind and rain were so strong that our bins flew across the road, and I saw several broken and abandoned umbrellas.  The public transport isn't great, and it takes my husband an hour to get somewhere on the bus that would be about a twenty minute drive.  But it's still a place I'll always be fond of, this town by the sea where we got better at being married and made all sorts of plans for the future.  I'll miss our friends, and the constant greenery, and the weird trees.  I'll miss the cliffs and running by the sea in the morning. 

It's exciting, though, to look forward to where we'll be next.  I can't even say what state or country we'll move to for sure yet, but we love talking about it.  (Well, I love talking about it.  My husband might get sick of these conversations after twenty times.)  We'll be moving together, though, which makes it a bit easier.  Really the hardest part about having lived so many different places is all the friends you leave behind.  It's so much easier now, though, when people can talk for free over email or Skype or a million other programs.  So right now, I'm doing my best to love every thing about where we live, including the constant rain and old flat.

expat diaries: holidays away from home

via 

I know that it's a little early to talk about Christmas, but I don't care.  I love all the Christmas decorations, music, cards and lights that are in stores already.  I've been doing my best to hold it in all October, and since Thanksgiving isn't a holiday here, everyone has sort of moved on to Christmas.  And the number one question I get asked around this time of year is "but don't you miss your family over the holidays?"

The answer is yes and no.  Yes, I sometimes miss them, and sometimes it's weird not to be home for holidays like Christmas.  My sister kept sending my picture updates last year, which made me slightly homesick.  But Sam and I had a great Christmas last year.  We spent it with friends, eating great food (and too much chocolate), playing games, and watching movies.  I think it's good for us to spend time as our own family, because sometimes I still stumble over that terminology..."my family" usually means my mom and dad and siblings, not me and my husband, but that's changing.

In that respect, I'm lucky.  I'm living here with my family.  Sure, I can't call my mom every day, but to me, that's a good thing.  We do best when there's a little distance between us.  We all get along better, and we enjoy the time we do spend together a lot more than we would otherwise.  Besides, with Skype and things like free texting apps (like WhatsApp, for example, or Kik Messenger) you can basically call and text whoever you want for free.  And I get to spend each holiday with my husband, starting and trying out new traditions, figuring out which old ones we want to continue.  I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year.  Besides, when people mail you Christmas presents, they often arrive late, meaning it's basically like a second Christmas several weeks later.  (This happened to us last year.)  If you don't like that, make sure you send off any gifts you have several weeks in advance (i.e. sometime in November).  And this year it's made even easier because thanks to a well-time cousin's wedding and my mom's abundance of frequent flyer miles, I get to spend Thanksgiving in the US with my family.      

from instagram: around town

 

Just some pictures from around my town, all from my phone.  I was just telling my husband yesterday how I didn't really love sunny days, but I actually do.  I just like cold sunny days.  And almost all these pictures are from bright, sunny days, when the sea is glistening and the sky is a ridiculous shade of blue.  Anyway, the last two pictures are from a random foggy day and playing table tennis with my husband.  We actually haven't played in a while (thanks to Sam's classes keeping him busy) but it's fun when we do.  I'm terrible, but I don't mind how bad I am when I just play with Sam. 

saturday

 (pictures from last November)

I love Saturdays because I get to have long stretches of time with just my husband.  We joke that everything we do together is a date, because it's the two of us one-on-one, and that means we go on loads of dates, since it is usually just the two of us doing most things.  Anyway, despite that, it's really fun sometimes to go on an actual date, like with a meal out or dressing up or holding hands. We just started watching Sherlock, and it's fun to have a new show to talk about.  (Everyone has been recommending it to us for ages, but we've been reading all the stories first, in order, which makes the show even more fun.  It's pretty clever the way they combine like three or four stories into one plot line for the sake of a more interesting television experience.  Some of the stories are pretty straightforward.  Then last night, we were reading one of the last stories, and Sam suddenly said, "I never really changed how I thought of Sherlock even when I saw the new movies, but suddenly all I can picture is Benedict Cumberbatch" so...I guess that's a recommendation for his acting?  Even if Sam thinks he looks like an alien.  Also, apparently I have a lot of thoughts about Sherlock, sorry.) 

The point is, I like Saturdays, and today it is so nice out and we have some errands to run which means maybe afterwards I can convince Sam to go walk along the seafront with me.  And I'm excited for the new series of Sherlock to start up.  (Sam watched all sorts of Sherlock movies as a child, and I had basically no interest in Sherlock until a year or so ago when we decided to read the stories.  They're actually pretty fun, even if that Watson is incredibly dense and mostly annoying.  And oh, if I read the word "singular" one more time, I may give up entirely.) 

recently...

For some reason, it makes me laugh when my husband discovers new things that have actually been here since we moved into our flat, now over a year ago.  For example, just the other day, he was walking to the kitchen when he stopped and yelled, "has this crack always been here?" in alarm.  I went over to see what he was talking about, and he was pointing to a long, thin crack in the wallpaper which has been in place since day one.

Then a few days later, he was standing in the kitchen eating a granola bar over the sink (which I do not really make him do, it's just that they're really messy and I had just hoovered) when he said, "wow, if you want to see a bunch of old ladies in their bras, come quick," because from our kitchen window we can look into the exercise studio of an elderly care centre.  Where every single day (since yes, the day we moved in), I have noticed old women stretching and dancing.  How is this new to him?

Finally, there's a street market every Wednesday morning in our town.  To be fair, Sam is almost always in class during it, and it's in an area he doesn't walk by that often, but he was still way too shocked when he discovered it (on a walk with me, after getting out early from class).  "This is here every week," I told him.  "Remember?  I'm always mentioning it to you...."  .... but no, it was quite the surprise for him.  (But we bought a pain au chocolat and three cheese straws, so it was an awesome surprise.) 

home

via

I've been thinking a lot about home lately, especially as Sam and I sometimes discuss where we'll move next, where we'd like to live, where we feel most at home.  It seems fitting that I wanted to write about this right now, when it's the expat diaries link-up here today.  It used to be really hard... I'd miss London when we left, for example, but as soon as we returned to London, it didn't feel quite like home, either.  Probably everyone who moves around feels like this.  I've lived in the UK since I was 17, so even though I wasn't born here, in many ways, it feels like home.  I went to university here, learned how to navigate adult life with things like bills and phones and paying council tax.  I know more about finding somewhere to live, buying food, and working in the UK than I do in the US.  I began my marriage here.  I can't really imagine living anywhere else with my husband, but chances are, we'll be in another country this time next year. 

For now, we'll enjoy this place and time in our life.  We'll probably be back for visits from time to time, no matter where we go next.  And when I think about moving somewhere in America, like Boston or NYC, I get excited thinking about building a new home there.  Or maybe somewhere that feels really foreign, like California.  I know I'll miss the UK, and all our friends and memories, which is part of the reason why I try to write them down.  It's nice to have a record to look back on.  I just wish that I had started earlier.  Mostly, however, the best lesson of marriage has been that I really do have a partner now.  Wherever we move to next, we'll move together.  Nowhere can really be that foreign (which I argue as I try to persuade Sam we should move somewhere like Hong Kong or Vienna or Stockholm) when you're not alone. 

two years

Two years ago, my husband and I got married.  It was a hot and humid day, and the sun was so bright that I got sunburned just taking pictures outside afterwards (and you can tell we're squinting in like 90 per cent of our photos.  Oh, well).  My parents were still living in France, but they were in between renters on their home, so they were back for a month in August, anyway.  I had a hard time finding a dress that would be accepted to wear outside in the August heat.  (I really hate heat.) 

After our ceremony and picture taking, we drove off and bought bagels together, because we were hungry and there were several hours until our reception started.  Our reception was held that night in my parent's back garden, and the weather by that time was perfect.

That night, we drove to a hotel and the next morning, we took a bus to NYC for our sort-of honeymoon.  We were mostly in NYC to get Sam a visa (oh, visas) from the British Embassy there, but we also had fun visiting Central Park, the public library, St Patrick's Cathedral, and lots of other random places.  Also eating some delicious food, like more bagels. 

Last year, we celebrated in Paris (with my family), and everything in our future was pretty uncertain.  I guess nothing is every straightforward, or easy, but at the moment, things are pretty great.  Marriage has been weird and hard and not really anything like I imagined, but overall, it's so much better than anything I pictured.  In some ways, it's so bizarre that we've been married for two years (which is really not long at all), but mostly, it feels like it's been much longer.  We've traveled so much together, moved around, done degrees, and I love having a partner in all things. 

life lately

Yesterday, for our family home evening, we met some friends by the seaside for ice cream.  It was delicious.  We met at this ice cream parlor Sam and I noticed when we first moved here.  It's on the opposite side of town from everything we ever do, so we're never over there anymore, which meant that we spent our walk there reminiscing about the day we moved here.  It was pretty horrific, actually; we're terrible at moving.  But despite the heat and heavy suitcases and hotel that was as far away from the train station as possible, it was kind-of a fun day.  It feels like so long ago, though. 

Anyway, the ice cream really was delicious (and they make it themselves) and then we had a nice walk along the seafront.  The sea was so beautiful, and the temperature was perfect.  Maybe we'll make it a weekly event.

Sam finished his first week of classes.  It's pretty weird that he's almost done with his first year, now.  It's gone by so quickly.  I'm really looking forward to the rest of this summer. 

wanderlust

found here

I really have a love/hate relationship with traveling.  I know, maybe that sounds lame, because everyone loves traveling, but seriously, plane rides are kind-of the worst.  I don't mind them so much once I'm on the plane, but getting to an airport hours early, waiting around to finally board, having flights delayed or cancelled, going through customs... I hate all these things.  Plus I really hate wandering through cities dragging my suitcase behind me.  And I just like to be home. 

But aside from all those things, traveling is fun.  I love taking the train, and I love train stations.  I like packing suitcases and arriving somewhere and exploring it for the first time.  I like looking for fun restaurants and lying on the beach and visiting museums.  Since Sam will have August off, I'm trying to decide where we should visit, if we go anywhere.  (We really don't have a lot of money.)  On the one hand, I'd love him to visit Scotland.  It's one of my favorite places, it would be fun to show him where I lived for four years, and it feels like home.  On the other hand, I've seen Scotland, lots, and so would it feel like a waste to visit there again?  There are so many places I've never been I'd like to visit- Cornwall or Norfolk or Wales.  (None of my British friends ever wanted to go to Wales with me, because they like to hate on it, but I don't care... I'd love to visit.)  I think I could maybe plan a pretty inexpensive trip if we just stayed in the UK, and we'd have fun.  So any suggestions for beautiful places we need to see?  Or somewhere not too expensive? 

(If I could go anywhere right now, without considering money, it would either be Sweden or Iceland.  I'm trying to find a way that we could move to Reykjavik or Stockholm someday. So that picture is from Iceland.)  (But for now, the UK is great.) 

scenes from a marriage: sports fan

us, Loire valley, July 2012

I always knew my husband liked baseball. When we first dated, I was given regular updates on the state of the Red Sox, even as he gradually became aware of the fact that I didn't really care. Once we moved to England, he was converted to football (or soccer, I'd you prefer), perhaps a result of living next door to Arsenal's stadium. Last summer, we got pretty invested in the Euro cup, cheering England on at our local pub that gave away free burgers during every one of England's matches.

But while we were in the US, with regular access to a TV and some free time to spend in front of it, I realized...my husband actually likes all sports. (Just about.) We've watched World Cup qualifying matches, hockey, baseball (spring training!), and March Madness basketball. And I am using that "we" very generally, as the most I tend to do is read next to him, only looking up when prompted.

This is a bit weird to me. Who knew he could get so invested in a team he's never shown any interest in before? Where does this surge of patriotism come from, manifesting itself so suddenly as he watches the US team battle Mexico in a qualifying match? I mean, qualifying? It isn't even 2014 yet! And why does he think I am as interested as he is? "Oh, Rachel, watch this replay! This shot is awesome!" he'll say, and then I make the mistake of thinking I can respond and say something ("wow, look at that!"), only to be shushed, because he needs quiet to concentrate. On a replay? It is mystifying, I tell you. And why does he think I want to be woken up at 1 am to be told the score to a qualifying game? "They tied!" Uhhh.... Okay?

You'd think he'd have picked up on the fact that I'm genuinely baffled at his new-found interest, not to mention completely uninterested in the end score. But apparently that really never occurs to him. So I am left with the realization that I married a sports fan, and I don't even mind.

currently

picture via

Loving being married.  It's not always easy, but right now, being married is pretty great.  My husband is really sweet, and yesterday did some major cleaning, which is always nice to come home to.  Plus he always goes out of his way to find or cook things I'll like. 

Reading Ali Smith's newest book, There but for the.  I've seen it in bookstores and libraries for ages, and always dismissed it, but I finally picked it up over the weekend when I was desperate.  (Our library doesn't have the best selection, and they charge you to request books from other libraries.)  Turns out, it is actually really good, and I've been enjoying every minute of it.  I definitely recommend it.

Watching what I said yesterday, Dial M for Murder.  It's not as good as Rear Window, but if you haven't seen it, you should.  It's also fun that it basically takes place in only one room (since it was originally a play), but it's done so well you might not even notice.

Listening to the Hush Sound, a band my husband introduced me to.

Looking forward to making curry for dinner tonight, because that's one of my favorite comfort-food meals.  I make it in the slow cooker, so leftovers are easy for the next day, too.  (We don't have a microwave, and we really miss heating up leftovers quicky and easily.  It's just not the same to do it in the oven or on the stove, where you have to make sure you don't burn it or dry it out. Oh, well.) 

What are you doing this week? 

sunday love

Oh this week...it has been fun, actually. My husband finished his work placements! That's pretty exciting, because... no more 7-7 days, no more spending £19.50 a week on bus passes, no more coming home smelling of cigarette smoke (thanks to his clients) and also... No more working with the NHS! Oh, and the best news is that he passed. So, that's over, finally.

Valentine's day was pretty low-key. We dressed up and went out for dinner, a major rarity for us. It was fun, especially our dinner conversation about Tolstoy and Richard Russo. It doesn't get better than that (well, that and leftovers for dinner the next day). Plus, we went out for Indian food, my favorite.

Yesterday, we went on a long walk and wandered through several shops. We ended up buying a poker set, and Sam spent the afternoon teaching me to play Texas Hold 'Em. Is that right? Pretend it is, anyway. It was fun, actually, and we're going to get good. We decided. Just as soon as I figure out what hands make good combinations. (I may have had a cheat sheet yesterday.)

So anyway, a good week, overall. Our life is pretty great right now.

on dating without leaving the house

Since my husband is 'working' right now (except not getting paid), he is gone from about 7-7 every day. He is also pretty tired when he gets home, so when I suggest we go on a walk, he's not too enthusiastic. (Plus, January is cold! Like, freezing. I can kind of understand his point.) But going for walks is my go-to faux date idea. You know, not a real date, but time spent together when we're talking and holding hands and not just playing on the computer or reading.

So anyway...what are fun date ideas for when you have no money? Any suggestions?

Tonight we played Boggle, one of his favorite games. But you can only play so many rounds....or fine, I can only play so many rounds...before it's not really fun anymore. Lately we've been reading Anna Karenina together, because I love it and think he might like it. I recommend reading out loud together in a marriage. It is fun and then you have a book to talk about together! Win-win.

(Sometimes we take pictures, but my husband loses interest in this pretty quickly...except obviously this wasn't taken at home. This is somewhere in the south of France, last August.) 

the end of 2012

Well, Christmas is over and now, 2012 is almost over, too.  I really can't believe it!  I swear, it was JUST New Year's, and suddenly, we're almost to 2013.  When I was little, I always thought adults were crazy for talking about how quickly time passes, but now I totally get it.  I guess that's just one more sign that I'm old.

Things are still pretty quiet around my place, and will be until next week, when my husband goes off on a work placement.  For now, we're enjoying our favorite presents (for me: three hardcover books from my husband, for him: a 6000 piece puzzle from me) and eating too much chocolate.  Since we didn't go home for the holidays, both of our parents sent us packages, but we have yet to receive either one.  While that was a bit disappointing on Christmas (particularly because my parents sent us 'Christmas relevant' things, like decorations), it means we'll have a second Christmas (hopefully any day now!) when our other presents arrive.  It's nice to draw the holidays out a little.

Our Christmas was nice, with just the two of us trying to figure out some Christmas traditions.  My husband likes to make Jesus a birthday cake, I like to read the nativity story.  This year, we also thought about starting a new tradition: seeing a movie on Christmas Eve.  We saw the Hobbit and it was exactly what I expected.  Well, with a few odd little changes from the book.  I still want to see the next two parts, so I think we'll carry on our Christmas-Eve-movie tradition for at least two more years.  We also went out for a meal on Christmas Eve, to our favorite Indian restaurant.  We did that last year, too, so it might officially be tradition now.  We'll see.  Christmas was spent opening our few presents, plus stockings, and then eating and playing games.  We were invited to a friend's house, so we watching the latest Batman movie with them (still good), ate a delicious Christmas dinner (my favorite was the roast parsnips) and then went home to Skype with our families. 

And now, I'm off to eat more chocolate and do some reading.  I really love this relaxing time inbetween Chrsitmas and New Year's! 

Merry Christmas!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Happy holidays to you from me and my camera-hating husband!

my day

Today was a nice, quiet Saturday. My husband and I slept in, then wandered through our town and did some Christmas shopping. Because I am so fun, I made a little list of everything I want to do for Christmas. This afternoon, I may have found the perfect present for him! It is so fun to find something you know will be appreciated.

Notre Dame, Christmas eve, 2011

I also wrapped up my sister's little presents to mail to her. I chose a few extra things, in addition to what she'd asked for, because I like being surprised about my presents. Sam and I were discussing this last night....do you ask for what you want to get, or do you expect to be surprised? I am all for surprises, and thought everyone else was, too, but our friend told us that his wife hates them. Apparently, she used to unwrap her presents while he was out so that she'd know what she was getting! Then she'd wrap them back up, so for several years he had no idea what she was doing!

What about you: do you make a list or want a surprise?